Most warning labels are written to protect the thing behind them. The yellow triangle, the crossed-out hand, the blunt imperative: all of it exists so that you will keep your distance from a hazard. The Not Friendly Do Not Touch shirt borrows that entire grammar and points it at a person. That inversion is the …

There is a white ball sitting at the bottom of a curved ramp, and a dashed circle sitting at the top. The shirt says I HAD POTENTIAL in white capitals. That is the whole design. No punchline, no extra caption, no decorative flourish. And yet the drawing makes an argument that most motivational merchandise gets …

Look at the rectangle first. It is black-and-white speckled, like the marbleized cover of a composition notebook, with a dark binding strip running down the left edge. Inside that rectangle sits a white ruled label headed COMPOSITION. Inside the label, an outlined ghost and an outlined pumpkin. The whole thing is printed on a shirt. …

We’re profitable. Why is growth still cash-starved? That question comes up in almost every engagement I take on with a founder-led firm between $1M and $30M in revenue. The P&L shows a healthy bottom line. The bank account says otherwise. The owner is looking at a 20% growth plan and a line of credit that …

There is a period at the end of the word on that shirt. That is the first thing I noticed, and it is the whole argument. The garment preview shows very small, centered lowercase meh. lettering on a dark shirt. No animal illustration. No slogan stacked beneath it. No exclamation point doing the emotional labor …

Four root vegetables smile up from the shirt: a carrot, a radish, a beet, and an onion, their roots drawn down into visible soil. Around them, in a ring of capital letters, runs the line: LET’S ROOT FOR EACH OTHER AND WATCH EACH OTHER GROW. The design is a gardening pun, and the pun is …

I want to start with what is actually printed, because the joke lives there and nowhere else. The native garment preview for the Meh Funny Sarcastic Saying Introvert Dry Humor shirt shows large, bold, white lowercase lettering spelling meh. on a dark shirt. No animal illustration. No secondary graphic. No visual pun tucked into a …

Editorial note: This publication and Quirky Cotton Collective share an owner. The shirt reads like a hazard label. Across the chest, in the block lettering of a factory-floor warning, are the words NOT FRIENDLY DO NOT TOUCH. Above the text sits a yellow caution triangle. Inside or beside it, depending on how the print is …

A second location is affordable when Location One can carry the entire cash burden of Location Two through its ramp-up — with zero revenue from the new site — and still keep your cash balance above a floor you set in advance. That is the test. Not a revenue milestone. Not a lender’s pre-approval. Not …

I HAD POTENTIAL. The words sit in white capitals above a white curved ramp that descends from left to right. At the upper left ledge, a dashed empty circle. At the lower right flat, a solid white ball. That is the whole design. No arrows, no equations, no caption explaining the joke. The shirt trusts …